I can stiil felt the warmth of them hugging me tightly as I was shovelling away from them. I wanted to stop crying but it seems they don't stop. Wiping their tears , say somethings that can make them feel calm and happy.

It's been 3 days after I left KITAB and somehow I still feel that I will go back to them someday. It's hurts so much to see the people who you live together for every weeks in this 1 and a half year cried and giving all sort of present and farewell letters.

What are they're doing right now ? Mabye they're just having there AL-MULK reading by now after they muzakarah. Who is Juwairiah's team leader for muzakarah ? Kak Adlina ? Kak Alia? How is my ex-talam team without me as the leader ? A sudden guilt makes the way to my swollen heart.

It's getting bigger as I recap Mak Teh calls me up to Pak Teh's office alone. I was crying before she called me. Badly. I even cried like a girl being bullied but there's no one bullied me. Sobbing. She told me that Pak Teh was sad with my departure. He even gave a book(hukum wanita bermusafir) for me. Now I can see how he loves his students dearly.She added that Pak Teh will always opens the door for me IF I want go back there.

Which is almost impossible cuz' my parents really wants me get me into that new school in Hulu Langat. They planned on getting me there since I had the desire on learning to be a better muslimah(i was 15 back then). They were happy for that and somehow I convinced my parents to send me to KITAB(which was KITA back then) as soon as my foot steps on KITAB ground. I could remember a flash of what I've dreamed of which is to be able to speak in Arabic language and teaching others about Fekah , Solat , Tajwid and more than I can think of.

Oh how I missed them already has made being vulnerable to others to make me cry even if I saw a lollipop been snatch away from a girl by a bully. I would cry but reading THE HUNGER GAMES book really soothes me out. I read 2 times in just 2 days and now I'm trying to read it for the 3rd time. Once I'm reading a book, I will be head over heels with it. Thanks to Kak Alia , the one who gave it to me and said it was my rezki. I can recall the situation when she gave it to me wraps in a black plastic bag. First I was puzzled by it then I dig into the black plastic bag , I can't believe my eyes when I saw a what appeared a gold bird with an arrow in it's beaks. I was jumping and nearly screaming on top of my lungs. This what I wanted when I got to know about The Hunger Games movie.

Ok , back to the topic. My house. My double storey terrace building filled with what I call woods in our backyard. Unknown trees and plants grows there. Each time I went through there to get the laundry , I couldn't stop thinking about snakes and other dangerous little creatures but there nothing actually only an orange stripy cat meowing, waiting to be fed up. It's not that I hate chores but when you asked me to do the chores when I'm on-line or reading a books , It's just hard to do work. But then, you'll just recapping The Hunger Games story how Katniss tried to find food to put on her families table. I'm trying to take her strong willed and not-giving-up-nature.

Thanks for your gifts , ♥